General Tips on Advocacy by Parents

Parent making a public presentationWhen we use the term “advocacy,” we are referring both to the ability to persuade other people to accept your point of view, and to the skills and approaches you need when you do research and preparation to support the argument you are presenting or “advocating.”

Parents can and should:

  • lobby for adequate resources and staff qualifications
  • support sympathetic staff
  • be a team leader
  • notice what’s being done right
  • be firm but optimistic
  • recognize professional knowledge
  • maintain a provincial/territorial presence
  • ask for recognition of, and information on, the big picture/context
  • resist quick fixes
  • do not overburden your child
  • expect change, but not miracles
  • demand a few focused goals rather than a dispersed “overhaul”
  • don’t wait, but don’t panic
  • ensure everyone’s role is clear, and that someone acts as case manager/team leader
  • ask for regular evaluation of growth in retrospect to the year’s goal
  • be realistic and reasonable in your quest for growth.

Get to Know the Legal System in Your Area

Be knowledgeable about your local and state special education criteria, policies, funding formula and local district/board regulations.

Keep Accurate Records

Maintain good records of relevant events, conversations, correspondence and other communications. Such documentation should include letters, faxes, memos, e-mail messages, any notes taken during or after phone calls, and any other related information you have acquired. It is essential that parents keep detailed and accurate records of everything relevant that is related to their child and to the efforts undertaken to overcome hurdles.

Opening and Preserving a “Paper Trail”

Printed, faxed and electronic letters (e-mail messages and attachments) serve several purposes.
They are useful to:

  • contact people who are “not available” in person or by phone
  • record and confirm important information received orally, in meetings or through phone calls
  • record and confirm important “understandings” and promises
  • record and confirm timelines and deadlines

Keep a Contact Log or Journal

Get in the habit of developing a written record of relevant phone calls, meetings or other oral conversations. After any phone call, make a short note. In your more detailed notes written afterwards, be sure to include the time and date of the conversation, the names (and titles) of participating persons, and a short outline of the discussion.
Your log is a memory aid and will help you remember what happened and why. Again, your contact log should try to provide answers to “Who, What, Why, When, Where, How” and “Explain” notes.

Taking notes at meetings gives an accurate account of the issues discussed. Take notes whenever there is a discussion of your child. This includes meetings with teachers, doctors and other professionals. The note should include the date and place of the meeting as well as the names of everyone present and the main issues discussed.
When appropriate, use the written information as the basis for follow-up letters to confirm meetings, calls, decisions, key facts, promises made, and so on.

Always ask for and note the name and contact data of anyone you may need to communicate with later on. This advice applies especially to anyone who promises (or refuses) to take a step on your behalf or on behalf of someone you are helping.
If you have a dispute with the school, your contact log is independent evidence that supports your memory. It is a diary. You may have to tell your child’s story to another person in order to get help. Assume that school personnel and their attorney will read your contact log.

Making Copies Is Simple and Essential

Always make and keep copies of letters, other documents and electronic messages that you send, receive or share with others.

Keeping Records

Here is a list of the different documents that you’ll see over the course of your child’s special education. You should keep them all.

  1. Individualized Education Plan and other official services plan
  2. Evaluations by the school system and by independent evaluators
  3. Medical Records
  4. Progress reports and report cards
  5. Standardized tests results
  6. Notes on your child’s behaviour or progress
  7. Correspondence
  8. Notes from meetings, conversations with school personnel, evaluators, teachers
  9. Documents relating to discipline or behaviour concerns
  10. Formal notices of meetings scheduled to discuss the child
  11. Samples of school work
  12. Calendar

Pursuing Appropriate Paths of Communication for Advocacy

Usually, the most diplomatic way to achieve results is to go through established lines of communication, up the ladder of an organizational hierarchy. In the school system, if you decide to step beyond the teacher toward the principal and the superintendent, it is important not to miss any level in the hierarchy, as people in higher positions expect that the established pecking order will be followed. They are likely to feel angry if they are not given the opportunity for input. It is also important to remember that those involved at each level have a stake in the matter. By acknowledging each person’s genuine interest and concern, you can help prevent the possibility of hostility from someone feeling devalued or unappreciated.

Maintaining Communication

Once you have mastered the form and direction of communications, concentrate on maintaining a favourable communication environment. When dealing with other people, it is important to keep an open mind and to listen to their comments and views.
The way any message is communicated can have a direct impact on the results achieved. Saying: “We seem to have a problem; what do you think we can do about it?” gets the other person involved by asking for his or her input and suggestions, and encourages that person to help find solutions to the problem.

All too often we let professionals give us their opinions without questioning them or asking for further evidence or alternative suggestions. Advocates should not be shy about posing specific initial questions and follow-up questions.

Some Questions That a Parent or Advocate Could Ask

Although the questions will differ with each situation, the following are some common questions that parents should ask concerning their child.

  • What is the nature of my child’s difficulty and what evidence exists?
  • What strengths were identified? What is being recommended and why?
  • Has an Individual Education Plan been developed or will one be developed?
  • Who will be involved as the helping team? What are their qualifications?
  • Who will be in charge overall and will that person have the authority to see to it that the plan is carried out?
  • What will be done to build on my child’s strengths?
  • What sort of help is available?
    • regular classroom teacher only
    • aide in regular class
    • part-time resource room
    • full-time resource room or other special class
  • How will this help be integrated?
  • What are the long-term plans or expectations?
  • Will there be a process of regular evaluation? Who will see that it is done?
  • To what extent will the independent diagnosis and prescription I have provided to you be implemented? If it isn’t, or parts of it won’t be, why not?

Learning Disabilities Association of Canada
Special Needs Project, Sept. 10, 2013.

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  1. Connie Martin says


    I really find your site useful for my parents, advocates and teachers.

    But, I feel your advocacy page is very one-sided. I understand there are many districts out there that are not providing appropriate services, but many are doing an outstanding job. It would be nice to see a piece for parents on how to positively advocate for their child and work with IEP teams in a positive productive way. This will only benefit their own mental health and especially the child.

    Advocacy has turned into an aggressive approach in the last several years and is not productive.

    Hope you agree…


    • Jackie Ebarb says

      I was glad to read your comment and would like to get your take on how to proceed in a difficult position with my child.
      The history is this: She has FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) she is adopted. I have a biological son with ADD/ADHD who we worked well with to put into place an IEP and then 504 when that was needed; so getting accommodations isn’t new to me.
      I relate some to the statement that advocacy has turned into an aggressive approach. The accommodations my son needed were relatively basic and pleasant to work with. Now this same administration is difficult to work with because they want to slide my daughter into the same list of basic accommodations that my son was on (none of which will work for her). It seems as if the accommodations that are available are a secret and I have to guess and be turned down and try again before they come up with something that they will accept. Why does it have to be this way? Why do I feel like I am pulling teeth to get them to help me help her. I understand that her disability is more difficult, she looks like a normal, cute 15 year old girl. And unfortunately her coping skills are manipulation, copying, and pretending that she understands when she clearly does not. Her issues or similar to ADHD but without any of the extreme intellectual ability my son has. She has difficulty with executive function skills and tests borderline fully-impaired in most areas. She works hard but has a low IQ. She (AND I) put in ALOT of hours to keep her scores up and the farther along she gets in school the greater the gap and the more difficult things become. Unless I “fight” for everything with her their solution is to main stream her and push her through. Her scores say shes doing well because we work so hard but the same unit that she gets 100% on the assignment she gets 12% on the testing.
      So basically, what I’m asking is how do I go about getting what she needs to make her successful as she can be without first dropping the ball and let her fail so that they take it seriously? The only way that gets any results seems to be the “aggressive approach”, it’s the only have we have been productive and gotten any results.
      Any advice or suggestions, would be greatly appreciated.

    • Connie,

      I am happy to hear you have had positive experiences however the majority of parents are struggling to even get proper testing, much less help from the schools and the state governments. A website that is honest and provides help where it is needed is a novel idea to many on the administrative side of education as opposed to one that merely pats a few on the back to justify their salaries.

      Perhaps try and put yourself in the frustrated parents’ position for once when a school counselor tells a parent to re-visit an issue after they leave their current school (so it will no longer be their problem to deal with). That is the outrageous level of apathy from the public school special education system that makes this website so very necessary!

      Steamed in NC

      • ESTHER GREEN says

        Hi; Just came across your site as things are pretty desperate as I continually go through the process and legal system here in the UK. Unfortunately through government cut backs and how each department works independently from each other the school education system has a lot to learn. I am one of the frustrated parents that the system has failed my 22 yr old daughter because I trusted the schools; primary and secondary. The education system has failed to meet my own needs even as a mature student while returning back to studies for my A’Levels the college failed me even after 25 years since I attended not enough is being done I failed all my exams and had to retake them all after passing awarded the best student of the year I still haven’t passed my English and Maths GCES
        I have run my own business for the past 15 years and have to accommodate ways round because I’m not entitled to get any help. Which I’m now pursuing the GP referral route. As a 51 year old parent. This is why the best advice I’m given is from sites like this to equip and empower parents to work through a process and correct channels knowing that all email and paper trails is vital for evidence. We have to battle through everything its tough because the help is not available unless you know how the system works etc. Self education is absolutely imperative. Everything is very different now and the schools and governments are NOT meeting our children with LDA needs. My 15 yr old daughter is now out of main stream school and apart of the Hospital Educational Service a class size of 8 in the whole school. This has been a fight in the legal system that she is finally in an educational environment where she will get the help; along with an Educational Health Care Plan
        I am constantly pushing with her Psychiatrist for different assessments which is still in the process
        I am currently looking for experts in scientific research in relation to Neurodiversity / Dysphoria melt downs due to high state of anixety and its triggers emotionally and pyschologically. From the assessments feed back reports. My child isn’t dyslexic or autistic; so the reports say; which I differ compared to the hospital evidence reports. However she does have processing / short term difficulties along with lots of other things, so my next request is for a dyspraxia assessment and seeing a private consultant to be referred for a FMRI scan Functioning Brain Scan to see how the brain is processing things and the effect. The UK NHS refused my child to have this because she doesn’t have a Brain Tumour as its all down to funding. This is wrong because of her mental health My child needs to have this in order to find out the causes of her difficulties as this is a disability.
        There is a long mental health and LDA within our families as my husband has undiagnosed Aspergers. All our lives we have been in the LDA system but unless we are aware and knowledgable the help isn’t there. Therefore; I encouraged every parent to keep pushing through because you will get there its just takes time, patience and perseverance and its sites like this that we need to feed back to the government, key people decision makers to help raise awareness and fundings. Keep pressing on you will get there. I would really appreciate any support and contacts that may help me on our journey . Thank you so much for being here for me

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